Funny Status For New Year 2018

1.I’m not failed…my success is just postponed for some time.




2.When nothing seems right….go left!!



3.Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.


4.Love thy neighbor. But don’t get caught.


5.If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.


6.A woman is like a tea bag, you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.


7.Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.



Also Read:- Apne Phone ke Sound ko boost kaise kare....

8.When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?


9.Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.


10.Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.


11.Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.


12.When a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left.


13.I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.


14.Etc= End of thinking Capacity.


15.Only Marriage is the major cause of divorce.


16.If you are player then I’m the GAME.



17.Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with you.


18.You can disturb me….I’m available.


19.Some people call me Mike, You can call me tonight.


20.Scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal this status.


21.Do You Want To Go Out With Me?

(A) Yes

(B) A

(C) B.


22.Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a…………. Girl :)


23.Insult and wife are somewhat similar....They always look good...If it is not yours!!!!


24.I'm Jealous of My Parents... I'll Never Have a Kid as Cool as Theirs!!!


25.I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.


26.Love your girl like you love your Coffee… Enjoy it before its hotness goes.


27.?  Behind this smile is everything you’ll never understand.


28.If I’m wired with you. I like you.


29.I love buying new things but I hate spending money.


30.Stop waiting for one Day. Today is the Day- Bang-Bang.


31.I hate math but I love counting money.


32.I believe in hate at first sight.


33. There’s always a person that you hate for no reason.


34.If I get jealous then yes I really like you.


35.The Earth without Art is just Eh.


36.We all are born to die don’t feel more special than me.



37.Someone on his status "Sleeping" ...since 3 Days! He's Probably dead.


38.Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror.


39.God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me :



40.My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.


41. People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. ;-)


42.I’m not arguing, I’m simply tried to explaining why I’m Right.


43.Laziness is me middle name.


44.I wonder if I've met the person I’m going to marry.


45.Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.


46.You have eyes my dear but you cannot see.


47. I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.


48.The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.


49.If you fall. I’ll be there.


50. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?


51.Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.


52.I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.



53.I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.


54.Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.


55.The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.


56.People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.


57.I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.


58.Can’t talk, telepathy only!


59.Read books instead of reading my status!


60.Eat…sleep….regret……repeat.


61.Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive.


62.WARNING!! I know karate …..and some other words!!!


63.It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world each day fit exactly the length of newspaper!!


64.My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.


65.A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for long time!!


66.In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.


67.When it’s you against me, you either win or you die!!!


68.Some people should just give up at engineering( or medical) ………i have.



69.Do you ever just lie on knees and thank god that you know me and my intelligence???


70.Who care’s ?????………..I’m awsome!!!


71.Hey,you are reading my status again??


72.When I Show you a picture on my phone..don’t swipe left.don’t swipe right.Just look.


73.I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.


74.life is short…smile while you still have teeth.


75.Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.


76.Hmmmm…..Don’t copy my status


77.People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. ;-)


78. 80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.


79. If you can’t convince them, Confuse them.


80. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

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